Jump to content


Photo

more jokes and funny pics


4541 replies to this topic

#1 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:26 PM

The Sexed-Up Priests!There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home toPittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass. Wellendowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing newterritory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I wouldlike three pickets to Titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost hiscomposure and fled.The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets toPittsburg," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes."So of course he also fled.Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg,and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," hecontinued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to thepearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!"
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#2 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:30 PM

Lesbian Laughers! What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet.****What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?A Klondyke.****What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?Militia Etheridge.****Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.****What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?Fur Traders.****What is a lesbian dinosaur called?A Lickalotapuss.****What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?Well Hung.****Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned?She was found face down in Ricki Lake.****How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?Even the pool table doesn't have balls.****Do you know what drag is?It's when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.****What do you call lesbian twins?Lick-a-likes.****How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.****What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#3 Scott

Scott

    Cum play with me!!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 18,498 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:NE of Cleveland, OH

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:34 PM

:rofl: Very funny! :rofl:
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

#4 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:34 PM

A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves.A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says "Alright then" and the man leaves.The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The Scotsman says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Hey where is your big black beard?" The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, "Secret Service!"
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#5 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:39 PM

A few days before Jack married Wendy, he had her name tattooed on his penis to show her how much he loved her. When erect, the name was fully visible; when deflated, it read Wy. After the ceremony, they went to Fiji on their honeymoon. Wendy was delighted with Jack's 'special emblem of devotion.' Their hotel had two beaches, one traditional and one nudist. After two days of the traditional beach, Wendy suggested visiting the clothing-optional beach. As Wendy lay on her towel in the hot sun, she asked Jack if he'd bring her a cold drink. He walked across the sand to the little hut and asked the bartender, who was also naked, for two pina coladas. Jack tried not to stare, but he noticed that the bartender also had "Wy" tattooed on his penis. "Hey," Jack said and smiled, "what a coincidence. Your girlfriend must also be named Wendy.""Oh no, Man," the bartender said and laughed. "Mine says, 'WELCOME TO FIJI, ENJOY YOUR STAY.'"
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#6 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:41 PM

Tester: "If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"Paddy replied, "SEVEN!"Tester: "No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"Paddy: "SEVEN!"Tester: "Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, and two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?"Paddy: "SIX."Tester: "Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"Paddy: "SEVEN!"Tester: "How on Earth do you figure that you'd have seven rabbits?"Paddy: "Well I've already got one rabbit at home!"
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#7 Scott

Scott

    Cum play with me!!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 18,498 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:NE of Cleveland, OH

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:42 PM

:o That bartender must have been rather well-endowed. ;)
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

#8 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:44 PM

Southern Baptists John and Marie went to the same Baptist church. Marie went every Sunday and taught Sunday School.John went on Christmas and Easter and, once in a while, he went on one of the other Sundays.On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Marie and he noticed what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, John leaned forward and said,"Hey, Marie, how about you and me go to dinner next Friday?""Why Yes, John, that would be nice," said Marie.Well, John couldn't believe his luck. All week long he polished up his car, and on Friday he picked up Marie and took her to dinner, the finest restaurant in town. When they sat down, John looked over at Marie said, "Hey, Marie, would you like a cocktail before dinner?""Oh, no, John,"said Marie. "What would I tell my Sunday School class?"Well, John was setback a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes."Hey, Marie," said John, "Would you like a smoke?" "Oh, no, John," said Marie. "What would I tell my Sunday School class?" Well, John was feeling pretty low after that, so he just got in his carand was driving Marie home when they passed the Holiday Inn.He'd struck out twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose."Hey, Marie," said John, "How would you like to stop at this motel with me?""Sure, John, that would be nice," said Marie.Well, John couldn't believe his luck.He did a U-turn right then and there across the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in with Marie. The next morning John got up first. He looked at Marie lying there in the bed. "What have I done? What have I done?" thought John. He shook Marie and she woke up. "Marie, I've got to ask you one thing, said John. "What are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" Marie said, "The same thing I always tell them....... "You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time."
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#9 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:45 PM

1. I don't do windows because... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. (I am compassionate.) 2. I don't wax floors because... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they may sue me. (I am careful and poor.) 3. I don't mind the dust bunnies because...they are very good company. I have named some of them, and they agree with everything I say. (I am imaginative.) 4. I don't disturb cobwebs because... I want every creature to have a home of their own and my family loves spiders. (I am kind.) 5. I don't Spring Clean because... I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous. (I am fair-minded.) 6. I don't plant a garden because... I don't want to get in God's way, He is an excellent designer. (I am courteous.) 7. I don't put things away because... my family will never be able to find them again. (I am considerate.) 8. I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over to dinner. 9. I don't iron because... I choose to believe them when they say "permanent press". (I am trusting.) 10. I don't stress much on anything because.. "A-Type Personalities" die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled old person!!!
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!

#10 Sunshine

Sunshine

    my butler oogles tyler

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,870 posts
  • Location:MI

Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:46 PM

A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies,Renowned for the length of their peenies. The hair on their balls Sweeps the floors of their halls,But they don't look at women, the meaniesglad ur enjoying these :devilish:
COCK IS COCK WHETHER GAY, BI OR STR8!!



Reply to this topic



  


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users