This forum, Needs new members

I have been an active member of this forum since it's inception. Even during the controversial short closed period I did not "abandon ship" as so many others did. I would like to continue participating, but it seems posting by active members has steadily dwindled, and now there is just a few of us left to carry on. I believe this forum could once again be the tool for vibrant social intercourse that it once was, but to do so it desperately needs new blood. I'm sure Tyler's main site membership still remains high, but for some reason they don't seem attracted to forum membership and participation. Is there a way to change that?? I heartily encourage all TR members to join us in participating in this forum, and I also welcome any and all suggestions from current members as to possible ways to increase participation. Sadly, if something doesn't change soon I may drastically reduce or eliminate my own participation as well. LET'S SAVE AND REVIVE THIS FORUM!!


Catman (aka Kitty )

I've been a member here pretty much since late 2004. I did leave for a while during that time the forums were closed, but I eventually came back. I came back and I continue to post here because the forums mean alot to me.

This place helped me become more comfortable with my decision to be gay. That was something that I struggled with for a very long time. I kept thinking that it was "normal" for a guy to find a girl, get married, and have kids partly because I was raised that way, and partly because the churches that I had attended preached that. But all that time I found myself being attacted to guys. Instead of finding Ms. Right, I kept wondering if what I really wanted was Mr. Right. Eventually I decided to stop fighting it and embrace the fact that I like guys. Being a member here helped me do that. I made some friends here and found encouragement in my decision. I'm grateful for that.

I'm also glad for all the support I got when my mother passed away. There were times that I posted updates on how she was doing and on how much it was a struggle for me to watch her die, knowing they wouldn't be able to cure her. That was pure hell, and it was the darkest time of my life. I'm glad that I could come here and post my feelings and see people say things like "I'm here for you", "I hope things get better" "I'm sorry my friend".....stuff like that. The support I got from others means more to me than I can say.

I also met my ex boyfriend through the forums. Although it ended badly because I wasn't ready to move away and go live with him after my mother died (he dumped me 3 weeks later), I was grateful for the relationship. He was my first, and so far my only boyfriend, and I'm glad we had the time that we did and I was able to experience a sexual relationship. If I hadn't been posting here, he wouldn't have found me. (After all that's happened I don't know if that's a good thing or not...lol)

But those are the reasons why I keep coming back here every day. I've made some friends here (including Tyler....love ya man!) and I've gotten some great support here with being gay and losing my mother to cancer. I will never forget the support and the love that I have received here.

I too hope the forums will become more active. I'd love to see that. But people come and people go, and people will do what people will do. You can't make then post here....they have to want to. Hopefully there will be more people like me and Catman that are loyal and that want to come back every day. Hopefully Tyler can find some ways to encourage guys to post here. I'd hate to see this place fall by the wayside or die, so hopefully we can keep it going for a long time to come so that lots of other guys will find the kinds of support, friendship, and encouragement that I have found here.

I appreciate the forum too and I love checking in to read the new posts even when I don't feel like posting myself. I'm not a big conversationalist but I love and want to be loved. I think sharing and caring in this forum is real and meaningful...even if it is electronic.

I appreciate and respect honesty and when someone like Scott shares his heart like this last post it makes me want to drive to his state, to his town, to his house, to his bed and LOVE HIM LONG TIME!!!!!!

I understand where kitty is coming from. I don't think there are a lot of folk with the time to invest. Having time to be active on this forum comes and goes for me because I have a very busy and full lifestyle. I will participate more when I can.

I would certainly miss the forum if it were no longer here.

I was on here when Tyler first started and never really joined in on the forums because I was WAY too busy in college and then starting my career. Now I'm more settled and I find that the more I settle, the more I spend time here. I guess that leads me to say this...

I love and respect everyone here and don't have to feel like I "like" you to love and respect you. I really appreciate the older men (and gal) and respect this being a meaningful place to connect and share. I never want to neglect the importance in that regard because there are way too many older adults in the world that are disconnected and uncared for.

With the older population growing exponentially, I think it is important to say how much we love and care...even cyberly...because that little connection can go a long way for some lonely folk who only want to have a little fun and feel worthwhile.

So...blah blah blah... I love you.
I will think of all of you now when I go to the couch and stick my tongue up my man's ass and make his eyes roll into the back of his head. mmmmmm

In closing...here's one for Smoke!

Attached Image

sorry...didn't realize that last pic was so large. hope it shows up for you smoke.

Chad, you're too funny!

Thanks for your input guys. I'll have to admit that as an older retired person I sometimes forget that others may not have the leisure time that I do. That was also drastically reduced when Ken and I got together about 4 years ago. He does not share my interest in the gay net and we were spending most of our time together so that limited my own time for it. Since the passing of his Great Uncle he is back to having to spend his nights at home with his parents (I tease him and call it a curfew ). His family doesn't know I exist, and I'm afraid that's how it has to remain. Anyway, the result is that (for the time being anyway) I do now have more private time for spending on the internet. Actually, I think that turns out to be a good thing for our relationship as it gives us both a little more space, as it were, for our own individual persuits. Today, for example, I was supposed to catch up on some household chores, while he helped his parents clean up their back yard. Late this afternoon he called and asked if I wanted to go out for coffee (I'm a Starbucks addict . He came by and picked me up and we went to Borders for coffee and some book browsing. Afterwards he treated me to dinner at an upscale Japanese restuarant. I forget what it's called in Japanese, but I had small super tender pieces of filet mignon & asparagus on skewers........just scrumptious!! And creme brulee for dessert, no less. Tomorrow it's more family time for him while I'm watching the World Cup final. We'll probably get together for a casino trip later in the day. So much for the hard life that I lead!!

Cat

I have always enjoyed the forum. As most of you know I take a keen interest in politics and am not shy about expressing my opinions. That those opinions often differ from the "mainstream" gay viewpoint seems to cause discomfort for some. I find this ironic as we, as a discrimination target, should be more open to differing view points. Lest someone misinterpret, or again attempt to mislabel, I am a libertarian and do not find a comfortable seat in the one size fits all liberal establishment that dominates gay organizations.

I mention this as there has been a tendency in these forums to attempt to impose conformity of views through ridicule and intimidation in the past. While those attempts don't work with me, they do with others and may have contributed to many shying away from participation.

Fortunately Tyler has maintained a hands off policy and has rarely intervened in forum disputes even though I know he and I disagree on some issues.

I wonder if an email to all members reminding them of the forums and the forum guidelines would help.

I was just thinking.........perhaps it would help if more was done on the main page to call attention to or "advertise" the Forum to the members at large. Right now there's just that one spot at the top of the page for members to connect to the forum, and it doesn't really let members know what the forum is all about. I'm thinking a small separate section welcoming members to join the Forum and giving them some kind of discription of it. Something like.......

The Forum lets us get to know you and lets you get to know your fellow members. You can post comments on most any subject you like as well as read comments by fellow members. It is divided into subject categories for you to choose from, such as general miscellaneous, humour, sex, and also a special section for getting technical help or advice on computer related topics. All members are welcome to join.

Perhaps that's a little too wordy or long, but you get the general idea. Of course it would be up to Tyler if he wanted to add something like that.


Cat

OOPS.........I just noticed there already is such a section for the Forum where Tyler has his blog, etc., so pardon my dust. That should suffice unless making it more noticeable would help.


Cat

I bet Tyler would rather "control" the numbers for the forum a bit because it takes quite a bit of attention to respond sufficiently to posts that you feel you've done a good job and still maintain all the other stuff going on in a webmaster's world. I dunno and I don't mean to cut him too much slack.

Honestly, the more Tyler...the more enticing for many of us.

Just thinking out loud. I like that the forum is "initimate" as much as I like seeing and welcoming new members.

I don't remain for the porn... I remain for the crew.

Admittedly a more subdued or less active forum is less for Tyler to have to deal with, and I can sympathize with him on that score. Example the controversy over the temporary closure and what went on behind the scenes just prior to that. Letting the forum take a back seat to the rest of the site, however, is not exactly in the best interest of forum members. If such is the case I can deal with it, but I will not guarantee for how long.


Cat

Thanks for the pic of Aussie Shannon Boh He's always easy on the eyes

And, yes, it would be a shame to loose the commarodery of this forum. It was sorely missed when Tyler put it on hyatus a while ago.

Wonder if more people might participate if Tyler posted more often than he does? I know that he leads an active and busy life, especially having to keep up with that bundle of energy he calls Bandit I mean. . .he's been soooooooooooooooooooooo busy that he hasn't had time to update his own videos in almost 2 years

Not just me Smokie if we all posted more - it would spark more interest.

The forum was never a good representation of the main site - the vast majority come for the porn not to meet friends or read and write.

In 2003 when we started this forum nobody was tweeting or facebooking and forums were a popular way of social networking - that has changed considerably in 7 years.

It would indeed be nice if it was a little busier but as I'm sure you guys know from other forums sometimes large amounts of posters make them impersonal and often downright nasty. This place has always been friendly - well there's been moments but overall it's been good.

Technical issues used to draw more people in but computers have gotten better and users more savvy it would seem.

I will make up an announcement and remind members about this place and see if I can get some more registrations and interest happening. I could even force them to have a look but that is not how I usually do things hehe.

Ultimately it's up to us - there are lots who lurk and read - the more things we talk about the more inclined someone will be to join in the discussion.

Tylersroom.net turns 10 on November 12 of this year - maybe we should have some big ass forum contest to mark that occasion!

As far as my own involvement I admit I was pretty quiet in 2008 and 2009, I was getting a little burnt out with webmastering, but since the beginning of this year I have been in full webmaster mode again and have been working on the site full time. I do have a couple of personal videos I made not that long ago getting them by screening however is the hard part lol.

i love a protective lover who screens my shit before I publish it... ha ha ha

Tyler your clips are hot and endearing without being flagrant or over the top.

If your baby minds, then I say forget it. Personal relations are far more important. BUT, maybe you two can work out a compromise for the sake of commerce????? mmmmmm the images that cum to mind.

Hell I don't wanna take you from him or even have you (in respect to him) but then again I'm a big freakin' liar and he's no dumb ass! lol

either way... I have no concerns or complaints with the forum. It is what it is when it is what it is. Hell I get my fill of the social networks. Facebook can be a big bore. This place is never boring because I walk away and come back as I please.

I love you all here. Have an awesome evening!

I guess Tyler is right........time doesn't stand still and times and circumstances have changed for places like our forum. It is wrong and perhaps even undesireable to expect this forum to be like it was in the beginning. For those of us who are still here about all we can do is continue to post as often as we can, hope membership picks up, and accept the limitations that now confront this forum. I guess I'm as guilty as anyone for having unrealistic expectations. Perhaps that's because I was here during the forum's heyday and would like to see it that active again, but realistically that's not going to happen. I'll stick around and try to do my part, and I hope those of you who read this will do the same. Cheers.


Cat